Daddy Dearest

Some of my family (and a fair number of complete strangers) believe that I should marry the father of my baby. They say this without knowing anything about the father. There is this is still an assumption that regardless of the father's personality or the relationship between the two adults, in order for a child to be happy they must be raised in a married household. I'm a very happy successful adult whose parents did not live together and I dread the thought of what it would have been like had they raised me together within the smae household. A parents involvement with their child's upbringing married or unmarried is only good if it is good for the child. It's true that both adults should do their best to provide their child with a loving and supporting environment and make personal sacrifices to do so. However, it is not always beneficial to the child to have both parents actively involved within the smae household or sometimes even in joint custody situations as Alec Baldwin's recent tiraid against his daughter shows.



Complete call here...



I'm not sure what's worse about this incident, the possibility that the mother was at some point and in some way influencing her daughter's decision to not take her father's calls, the threats, the name calling of the daughter or the mother or the way the conservatives are trying to use this as as an example of why liberals and therefore liberalism is bad. Justified in his anger or not, he crossed the line and committed a jackass move during a bitter custody battle.

Eve Evolves

On the topic of the downfall of man, Eve is really the Yoko Ono of the bible. She's often times blamed with the entire downfall of man. Being the mother of mankind must be an especially tough task, I suppose. A friend of mine, Tracy, recently had an adorable baby girl named Ava which is an evolution of the name Eve. I expect Ava shall bring only goodness through her sweet grin.

Forbidden Fruit

I've never been a big fan of fruit. I mean after all, it is the cause of the downfall of man. We now live in perpetual sin no matter how hard we try to be good, all because of the lure of this allegedly enticing edible offspring. The reason I normally avoid fruit is the way it makes my stomach feel afterwards. Aside from bananas, apples and pears, I often get an achy gut after consuming fruit. I think it must be the acidity. I have, however, for the sake of the baby been forcing myself to drink non-concentrated fresh fruit juice and eat fruits which hasn't been easy. In fact, it's been so hard I've given up with the exception of the fruits I mentioned and a few super fruits which provide colour I can't find elsewhere in my diet. My nutritionist says that if it makes me feel poorly, I simply shouldn't eat it, but find ones i can comfortably eat. Allegedly, my body is telling me it is not right for me by making me feel unwell. This makes sense, but it doesn't tell me the same thing when i scarf down a Filet O'Fish Happy Meal! Experts say lots of colour is good for adding a rich source of varied nutrients while you're pregnant. I call pomegranate, blueberries and acai "super fruits" for their extraordinarily high levels of anti-oxidants. Super fruits - they wash away the toxins and the sins! God's special brew.

Two of these super fruits are pomegranate and acai. Often times these are mixed with blueberry which I'd also classify as a super fruit. This morning I'm drinking a fresh concoction of acai and raspberry juice which creates a uniquely dark purple colour and a lovely taste. I first discovered acai when I was kite surfing in Jericoacoara, Brazil. I was taking some kite surfing lessons, arranged through my fantastic hotel which had just opened, since I hadn't been in the freezing British sea for some time. The gorgeous, slender kite surfing Brazilian girl served up acai smoothies beach side for all the kite surfers.

It was a very unique taste the first time. I was astounded by the wide assortment of fruit i had never seen or heard of while i was in Brazil and this was my first attempt to consume one. The taste is overpowering, so if you don't like strong tastes you are unlikely to enjoy acai. It's not too sweet, nor too bitter or sour. It has a bit of earthiness to it. it's like nothing I've ever tasted before. it's lovely. the nutritional bonus of the acai is it has one of the highest levels of antioxidants of any fruit or vegetable yet known and is also a particularly good source of fiber and fatty acids - all good for pregnancy. i think the fact that i enjoy consuming it, the bright unique colour and this claim make it great for pregnancy. how can it not be great for the baby? i suppose if you're trying to cut down your food miles and eat a macrobiotic diet, then it might not be so great. on the other ethical hand, Brazil needed a new crop and therefore a new source of income to boost jobs and the economy. what you eat at each meal requires complex decison-making and trade-offs especially when you're eating for yourself, your baby and the world at large.


My Aunt Rose sent me this viral video since I like laughing babies so much. You know they're much cuter and rarer than crying ones. What makes this video unique isn't the laughter, but the bizarre contraption the baby is in, presumably in the hospital and the full set of teeth this litlle one has. Kinda creepy really...

Evolution of the female form

Before I got pregnant, I was working out with a trainer regularly, briskly walking at least an hour and a half a day and getting perfectly proportioned GI balanced meals delivered to me every day by Silouette Chefs. I had reduced my alcohol intkae substantially and nearly eradicated sugar with teh exception of my daily starbux fix. All of these changes to lifestyle and diet resulted in me looking much more toned and feeling much better, but having loss not a single pound (given in any week my body weight can fluctuate by six pounds either way). Imagine my frustration when after having put so much effort in for a few months, I couldn't justifiy buying a whole new wardrobe for my fabulous new body. I began and still suspect I may have a gluten intolerance or a thyroid problem and am investigating this with the assistance of a fantastic doctor I met in Mexico named Dr. Hyman.

This morning, slightly worried about the evil nature of my scale, I hesitently jumped aboard fearing the likely revelation. To my dismay, I have not gained a single pound. I'm not sure how this is possible given that my belly although only 18 weeks in it's evolutionary development is prominently opening doors for me in the most chivolrous way. I'm bigger now than some of my friends were at full term. My arms also appear bigger or perhaps simply flabbier. Certinanly the no lifting heavy things rule is affecting their tone. I'm simply astonished that my weight is the same. I'll check again at my next GP appointment on Monday to ensure that my evil scale isn't off kilter and becoming kinder with age. I've hear Gwen Stefani and other mums claim to have gained 60 pounds or more. I suppose I shouldn't worry too much, I'm sure I'll pack it on soon.

The strangest part of watching my body evolve is that I love getting bigger. I love to see my belly blowing up and am amazed by how it gets firmer as it gets bigger. How often does that hapen!? While doing some research online, I found a site dedicated to celebrating the changes a woman's body goes through during pregnancy - get this - even including the stretch marks and celluilite since they represent battle scars incurred bringing baby into this wretched world. I'm a little disappointed that my breasts are simply engorged to their normal period induced plumpness. My cousin went from a small 'B' to a 'D' and I'm hoping for the same kind of blessing only for curiosity's sake. I don't actually like massive breasts, but it would be fun to try them on for a while like coloured contacts. I decided to a bit of searching for photos on the internet of other women's breasts throughout each trimaester. God, you really can find anything on the internet including fetish hard core porn sites for men who get off on pregnant women acting likes whores. Nothing is sacred. I stumbled across a site (click on 007 Breast Gallery link) which was fascinating. It's got to be the widest array of photographic breast types ever compiled! After thoroughly reviewing each type, I'm even happier with my pert pups with perfectly formed pink nipples. What I want to know is whether all nipples turn brown after pregnancy? I really hope not.

Adding to all this is, of course, the pressure to bounce back like all the celebrities with full time trainers, nutritionists, chefs, nannies, minders and most importantly more control over their time. They say breastfeeding drops weight and certinaly walks with the pram can help until you're chasing around a toddler. I think it's going to take a lot more than that to get back to where I was and perhaps even improve on the older model. We can only dream...

An apple a day keeps asthma away

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - A new study suggests that women who eat apples while pregnant may protect their child from developing asthma and related symptoms.

In the study, researchers from The Netherlands and Scotland led by S. M. Willers of Utrecht University tracked the diets of nearly 2,000 pregnant women and checked the lung health of 1,253 of their children.

At age 5 years, 162 children (12.9 percent) had a bout of wheezing in the past year and 145 (11.6 percent) had doctor-confirmed asthma.

Among a wide variety of foods eaten and recorded by the pregnant women, only apple consumption showed a consistent protective association with the occurrence of childhood wheeze and asthma, according to the team's report published in the medical journal Thorax. This is a novel finding, Willers and colleagues note.

The researchers found that children of moms who munched on more than 4 apples per week were 37 percent less likely to have a history of wheezing and 53 percent less likely to have doctor-confirmed asthma, compared to moms who ate one or no apples per week while pregnant.

The specific association found with apples, and not with the total amount of fruits eaten or with citrus, fruit juice or vegetable consumption, hints at an apple-specific effect, the researchers say, possible because of its phytochemical content, such as flavonoids, which have been shown to have beneficial effects on adult lung function.

The study also found that eating fish during pregnancy may curb the risk of the allergic skin condition eczema in offspring. Children of mothers who ate fish once per week or more while pregnant had a 43 percent lower risk of eczema compared to children whose mothers avoided fish altogether.

"If these results are confirmed," say the investigators, "recommendations on dietary modification during pregnancy may help to prevent childhood asthma and allergy."

SOURCE: Thorax, online April 5, 2007.

I've been eating several apples, bannanas and pears a week since there are very few fruits my empty stomache can handle. If this new research is true, then at least I've improved his chances of reducing one of zillions of health threats. I suppose this should make me feel good, but of course you can only really think about the potential impact of the things you're not eating.

"That's not an arm..."

my latest scan... thanks a million to my aunt eli who works in the high risk maternity unit at detroit metropolitan hospital (where i was born) where she was able to get the locally acclaimed doctor to provide a gratis 4D scan of bambino. having social medicine in the uk is great, because my scans are covered in my taxes and therefore at no additional direct cost to me. however, when i travel these and other costs are not covered. i was eager to get a scan while visiting my family, so that they could participate in the joy of my pregnancy. once again, bambino showed early signs of shyness or more likely a stubborn nature by refusing to pose for the camera. perhaps the baby is just especially proud of it's booty and is in fact demonstrating family pride by showing it's best side. i ate some mexican food and did various dances including an african dance i learned in mexico, the dreaded wedding chicken dance and the macerana to jiggle the little one into a better viewing position to no avail.

we were, however, able to gain a decent side view... the technician pointed to the baby's head and asked me if i could tell the gender (and asking if i wanted to know). i said, "well, there's the head and there's the arm..." She quickly interrupted, "That's not an arm!" Nope! It's my perfectly proportioned little BOY carrying on one of the more impressive familial traits that I was unaware of until my parents decided to share the long lineage of men in my family. I'm not sure I needed to know that bit of our history, but nonetheless I'm happy my big boy will sufficiently fulfill the titles of a "lady's man" and "king of my world" just in case he never becomes a lord or a sir or president of the universe.

I must mention that my friend helen and my mom said from the beginning they knew for certain I was having a boy as he appeared in their dreams, so I'll let you all know if the lottery numbers also appear in their dreams!

a boy. wow. how lucky am I? I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones or sheer deep happiness which makes me tear up with excitement every time I try to utter the words "my son." I think it'll take a little time for it to flow naturally. until then I'll enjoy practicing.

Here's a baby video that'll make you giggle...

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Avoiding parenting dischord - an advantage of flying solo

To spank or not to spank, that is the question... I spent a few days with friends of mine, a happily married couple with a 2.5 year old boy and another boy on the way. The wife, Karen, is a very close friend. I was familiar with the child's tantrums before I agreed to the holiday, but I figured with both parents on hand to manage the situation and being in a very relaxed environment we might be able to diminish the volume or frequency of eruptions I'd previously observed. Instead what I observed was the devil incarnate metamorphosize within the cherub cheeked Goldilocks with such regularity that I lost count on day one. His behaviour resulted in the child intentionally and in anger hitting his mother in the face twice drawing blood once, kicking his mother in the face and biting her arm - all in a state of rage. This doesn't include him pinching me and his father and throwing a book and other items on the plane.

I could elaborate on the details behind these eruptions and many other fierce tantrums that occur ed approximately every half hour, but the point is not to delve into the psyche of some one else's child or judge first time parents who love their child deeply and are doing their best to raise a loving, productive human being. The point is this - their are lots of different opinions on the best way to influence a child's behaviour, but one of the challenges that couples face when raising a child is the challenge of alignment and consistency. If the couple both work, then adding to this challenge is the complexity of agreeing and implementing and agreed approach with the nanny or other caregivers. As a solo parent, it can be daunting to know that if something is going wrong with the development of the child you are the first and often the last one to blame. You are accountable for all parenting decisions. This is a scary thought.

However, unless you are relying heavily upon a nanny or other caregiver to adhere to your preferred parenting style, you can avoid the problem of confusing the child about what's appropriate and what's not and what kind of punishment is warranted for the offence committed. You can also avoid the fights and frustrations between you and your partner. The efficacy of your parenting methods in a situation where you are dependent on other caregivers or a nanny means that you must choose environments - day care, play groups and schools and caregivers that share your views. You can screen these people, but as much as you might try it is difficult to vet your potential spouse on parenting when neither of you has children. With the divorce rate reaching over 63%, you may have the opportunity to select a mate who has kids and who's done a good job by your standards raising his children.

There are of course, advantages and disadvantages in both situations. I know that I found the few days thoroughly confusing as to what the couple found punishable by what means. If I found it confusing, then I'm certain that the child was confused about what boundaries may or may not really exist and what repercussions might result of particular behaviours. I walked away highly empathetic towards the mother, father and child and grateful for the different challenges I'll face.

I then watched a BBC programme ostensibly about parents who were being beaten by their children. They focused on three cases where all kids were in their teens and all were in single parent homes living with their mothers. This programme did not sufficiently delve into the cause of behaviour within the home, but it could debunk the theory that confusing the child is a significant contributor to bad behaviour. However, because the programme did not really explore the cause of the behaviour problems, I was left with the feeling that although these women were trying their best, the problems were actually with the mothers self-esteem and ability to act as authoritarians. In their case it was not inconsistency between parents which resulted in their children's violent behaviour, but the audience was left guessing as to why the children behaved so badly and what parents should have done differently to curb the behaviour. Although these women didn't have to deal with the challenge of alignment and consistency with a partner, they had different challenges that they and their kids found difficult to deal with.

I called my mom, who is intending to nanny for me and my child when I go back to work and found that we agreed on how to handle many of these situations. Of course, implementing parenting techniques with consistency isn't always easy even when you do agree, but I was relieved to find that we at least agreed how we would attempt to deal with certain situations. Now, I'm of course praying that my child has a more chilled disposition. Fingers crossed!